Worrying never changes the outcome

Everyone has worried about something. Whether it’s school, work, a relationship, or health issues, worrying can become a constant for so many people.

I’ve been an anxious person for pretty much my entire life. My mind has raced in so many different directions and created false narratives that run wild. My brain has told me countless lies that I’ve believed out of fear and worry.

When I start to worry, it’s incredibly hard to stop. It seems like my brain just doesn’t get tired of it. To stop the cycle, I have to practice extreme mindfulness and use techniques that I have learned over the last several years. But, it is a lot easier said than done.

If you’re reading this and you struggle with excessive worrying, I am here to provide some comfort and tactics for how to navigate it and find some peace.

Why is worrying so harmful?

When I start to worry, it feels so harmless at first. I tell myself that I’m just thinking through possibilities and being realistic. While I do believe that thinking critically and taking positive action is important, there is a difference between that and worrying.

According to Merriam-Webster, the literal definition of worry is “to afflict with mental distress or agitation: make anxious.” I think this paints a really good picture of the difference between worry and critical thinking. Feeling constant mental distress about a situation is exhausting, and we aren’t meant to live in a perpetual state of anxiety.

Experiencing difficult circumstances is already hard, and worrying just makes it harder. When I was diagnosed with CVID, my anxiety and worry started to spiral out of control. I worried about every single aspect of my life and asked questions that I had no answers to. It got to the point where I felt like I was predicting a terrible future that hadn’t even happened yet.

When we worry, we are scared of things that haven’t happened. Things that aren’t true. We are borrowing trouble and sorrow. That’s why it is so harmful to our mental health, and sometimes even our physical health.

How do I alleviate worry?

Unfortunately, I can’t just snap my fingers and stop worrying. I know myself, and I know that I can’t really get rid of it entirely. However, I have come up with a few ways to alleviate the pain from worry and redirect my thoughts to become more positive and productive. Here is a list of some helpful tips:

1. Ask yourself, “What is true?”
   • When worrying about a situation, we often worry about things that we don’t know for a fact are true. We may worry about “what ifs,” but “what ifs” are not truths. They are hypothetical situations that may or may not happen. If it isn’t true or hasn’t happened, there is no use worrying and borrowing trouble about the situation.
2. Remember that worrying does not change the outcome.
   • These anxious thoughts are just thoughts. They are in your head, and they’re messing with you. They change how you think about your reality. But, when you let go of the anxious thoughts, you realize that the outcome will be the same no matter how much your mind races.
3. Accept that you don’t have control over certain situations.
   • Having a chronic illness is very tough, and it is one of the hardest aspects of my life. However, I have accepted that I can’t control what is happening to my body. If I add on stress and worry, it will only make my situation worse. When you realize you don’t have control, It can actually be very healing. You aren’t always in the driver’s seat, and that’s okay.
4. You don’t have to go through this alone.
   • When I worry, it often helps me to talk through my worries with someone else. Talking about them helps you realize if your thoughts come from a place of anxiety. It can also help you feel less alone. Anxiety can be extremely isolating, so it is important to surround yourself with people you trust.

Life is a journey, there will be ups and downs

I know that there will be both amazing and sad days ahead, and that’s okay. Some days, I have great control over my worrying thoughts, and other days I don’t.

Give yourself grace! You don’t have to be perfect!